Views from the top of the Hill

After 4 months of training, spilling my sweat on the roads, and my guts on the blog, the weekend went by in a flash. Emotional high, somewhat exhausted and yet replenished...odd how that works.

You couldn't have asked for better weather. Earlier in the week they called for rain so naturally I went out and bought rain gear...a sure sign that it wouldn't. Fern and I rode up talking about the recent months, and I actually got him to agree to pursuing riding next year on a moderate level.

We checked into the Westin to begin this last leg of the adventure.

Cocktails at Quintessence allowed us the opportunity to finally meet the other riders, to exchange hugs, smiles and stories. I also connected with my posse, the "Less than Elite" Riding Group.Luisa, Catherine and I became a formidable block of average riders committed to the max. Catherine is Sarah Cook's aunt and was back for her 2nd year of riding. Sarah was recently diagnosed with a recurrence of her cancer at the young age of 17. Our thoughts are with her and Catherine's persistence at this difficult time was heartwarming. The true devotion of an aunt.

Fern and I attended the dinner and thanks to all of my team we were among the top 5 fundraisers, which placed us at the table with Lance. As I have mentioned before I am more of the Livestrong Lance fan than as a cycling phenom. I truly do appreciate his decision to walk through the public door with his cancer and to undertake this huge global vision for the disease. We are often encouraged to think outside the box but he has collected a huge array of creative thinkers around him that have a vision for cancer that is truly inspiring.

Lets just say my pre-ride sleep was not completely relaxed. The little man in the my brain kept running back and forth screaming.." It's not too late"..."Don't do it"..."What were you thinking".

Relax I told myself, you've got Luisa and Catherine...life is good.

The morning of the ride went quickly with Media interviews ( all in French) and the pre ride tension. More hugs all around, the presentation of the Yellow Jersey - Dr. David Fleiszer who raised $82,000 and we were off.

There was an amazing surge of energy when we took off and when I realized that we were riding at 33kms/hr. Hmmmm...not sure I can keep this up. Do your best...just do your best.

Lets just say, that the region is hilly and Lance rides quickly....okay downright fast. For someone who trained at 27 kms/hr realizing that the peloton was at 40k/hr was initially overwhelming. Finding comfort in my posse we soldiered on at our own rhythm in our own way. It was great to see the people on the sides of the road waving us on and ringing the cowbells to encourage our efforts.

We broke once at 50kms for a group picture and the peloton continued on the return. Arriving in Huberdeau we were welcomed by a large group of people and it was great to see Fern and Marlene on the sidelines cheering me on. The home stretch seems to go quicker since you are counting down towards the end...pedalling faster to get back.

Let's just say I wasn't at the front of the peloton. Luisa and I made our own way back probably 30 minutes behind the leaders, happy, and relieved to have completed the journey.

With a little bit of hindsight here is what I realize:

1. I am not a speed freak..I am just as happy cycling at 27 kms/hr as I was at 34kms/hr..maybe even more.

2. Everyone has a story...we need to listen

3. Cancer needs to be a global concern..Lance has it right.

4. Terry Diab gives great hugs and is a champion in all ways

5. Caroline Rhea is a mensch and funnier than you can imagine.

6. The feeling comes back eventually but it can take up to 48 hours.

7. There are flat parts to Quebec and you can ride there too.

8. Bad/Sad things are going to happen without any effort on our part...It is up to us to create Joyful moments...they don't seem to happen spontaneously..you have to make them happen.

9. Now that I've cycled with the best...time to look onto a new challenge...hmmmm maybe Swimming with Michael Phelps...I think I can beat him.

10. You can never say Thank You enough. I could never have undertaken this insanity without your support. From Andrea shopping the bike, Marlene and Sandy taking me on training rides, my lunches with Simon, Fern telling me I could, the countless emails and words of support from you, my friends and family, each and every step has been as part of a team. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You...

Stay tuned the blog will continue as we prepare for 10*10*10....in the meantime I better go get a Speedo...Michael are you listening?????

Thank You..you made it happen.

The Letter

To my indefatigable foe,

I know that most letters begin with Dear, but you can understand that in this circumstance I truly don't share those feelings. For nearly 6 years you have played much too large a role in my life. Yes the first surgery scared the hell out of me, but after that I was confident that the worst was behind me. You truly sent me reeling when you reared your ugly head only 9 months later. That was truly the turning point, nothing is more chilling than hearing the word metastasism.

Somehow over the years I learned to live and even more joke about my increasingly scarred body.

I learned to endure the looks of despair and pain in the eyes of my parents, family and friends, and together we found comfort in our tears. Thanks to you I joined a community of amazing people soldiering through diverse yet similar experiences, and formed bonds of friendship and camaraderie.

In the last few months I realized that despite my seeming optimism you did manage to shake my resolve. You made me question my future, my ability to dream, to make plans.

Will I celebrate 50? Can we even discuss retirement? Will I dance at Edan's wedding, Lenore's, Sivan's? Do I still have the courage, the guts to undertake another challenge?

Last May with the scars still fresh and the pain too real a rumour surfaced in town that you had won. Yes, through the grapevine, I heard that it was said that I wouldn't ride this year because my health was failing....things weren't going well.

How dare you. No one will say it's over until I say it's over, and so I rode.

Tentatively at first but with increasing strength. I rode alone because I needed the time to think, to cry and breathe the air of life, but I was never really alone. With me were all my family and friends. They powered my soul and my legs, yes those very tired almost 50 year old legs. The hills and the challenge of Tremblant await. On Friday I will ride in a peloton focused not only on the ride or the task at hand, but with your ultimate defeat.

I don't know what the future holds, but neither do you. What I do know is that Lance was right, It's not about the bike. It's about the road we take and our experiences on the ride.

It may be bumpy but this boy is strapped in and ready to go.

On your mark, get set...see you at the finish line.

Sam

The Golden Rule

There's a book that I remember that said that everything we need to know in life we actually learn in kindergarten.

1. Don't Hit

2. Don't Lie

3. If your feeling cranky and irritable, remove yourself from everyone else till the mood passes

4. DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE OTHERS DO UNTO YOU...

Okay maybe that wasn't kindergarten, it may even be religious, but isn't it the truest thing around? The principle of empathy, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

In recent weeks I have had to balance the public good and my inner core beliefs, and happily its my core that won out. Some things are non negotiable.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, it was as if one of my legs had been knocked out from under me. Yes I was standing, but boy was I wobbly. I could have fallen over at any moment. That is the way it has been for close to 6 years, over and over again. Each time when things got tough my family, Fern and my friends were by my side. During the interminable interval between scans and results, when I am far from being my best, Fern and my friends have been at my side.

When I needed to fly to Sloan Kettering for consultation, Fern and my cousins Rose & Arthur were by my side. Without hesitation, without question, you have been at my side the whole way. You have always been the other leg to stand on.

Now as I enter the final week before the ride, I realize that somehow the focus has become about me and my achievement, and frankly I am not comfortable with this. Standing again on 1 leg alone, and way to wobbly. So let me reiterate in the clearest terms possible. My participation in this ride is thanks to you. You my supporters my donors, my friends, my family and particularly Fern are the sole reason I have found the courage to undertake this mission.

Together we have achieved the financial goal and from you I have found the inner drive to train and ride in some difficult moments.

I look forward to next week and having Fern at my side, where he has been for 17 years, 6 of them in this hellish cancer battle. Riding with Lance, but partying with Fern- the way I would have it done unto me.

THANK YOU EVERYONE...WE HAVE ACHIEVED OUR FINANCIAL GOAL, NEXT WEEK I PEDAL FOR ALL OF US - STURDY WITH BOTH LEGS.